"The gum ball machine that sat lonely on Grandma's dusty dresser at Shady Acres nursing home, dispensing stale, powdery gum balls to stifled grandchildren, her unwilling visitors."
"The backscratcher that was used by the neighborhood kids on lazy summer afternoons to comb and pick through the long and tangled hair of the stray cat that lived under the gazeebo in the local park."
"The scale model of “Big Snow”, the largest chicken ever to have lived, that was perched on the refridgerator in the church kitchen, overlooking Wednesday night community potlucks."
hahhah i get distracted with the shady oaks name, perhaps something a little less humorous
ReplyDeleteotherwise really creative and funny
I really like the punchline of "her unwilling visitors" and would like to see that in the others. I think picking through tangled hair is less interesting than stealing things from a window sill or peeking through curtains. The same goes for community potlucks. Something darker, like the unwilling visitors would be nice.
ReplyDeleteThese are great and verbose, just like they should be.
ReplyDeleteI do like Jenna's suggestion that they work best "dark". Love the "her unwilling visitors" end of the first line as well.
Maybe they don't use the backscratcher to comb through the cat, but rather to comb through the tangle of river wash in the creek at the park, looking for xxxx?
Nice work.