Monday, April 19, 2010

WHICH ONE

1 comment:

  1. Watch your leading between "instant" and "bunker buster". It's too open and makes it feel disconnected.

    Are you going to tone the background?

    In terms of the supporting language, it feels flat. What happens when you sprinkle this on the enemy's fort? Make sure that's clear.

    The punchline here is that Instant Bunker Buster is Salt. This is key, and really funny. I miss seeing that.

    Lastly, watch your spelling. It's "Antarctica".

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